God created you, to be you!
When it comes to showing up authentically as ourselves, its natural for there to be some hesitation. No one wants to be made fun of or rejected for who they are. I am the queen of pretending. I used to love being a part of our local community theatre where I could pretend to be someone else in a play. The same could be said for when I found myself in stressful situations where all eyes were on me.
I instantly felt as if I had to be on constantly. I learned early on in life what characteristics I possessed that others deemed too much, and so I hid myself. I found it was easier to be the version of me that was acceptable to others and made my circle of friends grow even bigger.
It's exhausting now to think about how long I lived life like this. It took me many years before I finally decided enough was enough and being me, was the me that God wanted me to be. God create me to be too much in the eyes of some, but just enough in the eyes of others. I had to get comfortable being who I am at my authentic core and not worry about whether or not it would cause some arbitrary social number to go up in scale.
I had to stop judging myself based on the number of followers I have and start consistently showing up for those who come to my socials because they believe in me. I have changed my socials so many times now, I'm sure everyone is just as confused as I was while I was trying to determine who I was, and now that I've announced yet another rebrand.
Have you ever gone so far off the rails in your life that it takes a few more tries before you get back on track? That is how I feel in this new season of life. It was what prompted my total life rebrand that I am currently in the midst of. I know that I'm not for everyone, and that's ok, because everyone isn't for me. What matters the most is that I am for God, and God is for me, why would I want to be anyone else?
The moment I allowed myself to be me, the anxiety and stress of showing up went away. I no longer had to pretend to be someone I wasn't or try to determine how I would show up or what I would say, I just do it. Whatever comes to mind, that very moment. Like now, it's Monday, I knew I needed to write a blog post today, but I had zero idea what this weeks topics would be about because I haven't planned them yet.
You are getting me in the moment, unfiltered, real, and raw. It's not often I allow others the chance to lean in to the many depths of my heart, but today, you get to. Part of my promise to myself was that this rebrand would be the final one, the one that was most like me. I didn't ask for anyones help or opinion on the design or overall aesthetic because, it has to represent me.
Normally I would send it to all my closest friends and family members to get their input and change it a million times over. It's not that I don't value their opinion, it was that I wanted to challenge myself to stand in my own space for a moment, to really listen to what my heart was telling me and where God was guiding me, and just go for it. I wanted to lean into my expertise and trust my gut as I put together the visuals. It was so freeing to begin this process, and I love every thing that continues to come as a result. I'm just getting started on this rebrand, I have a ways to go, but I do hope you are enjoying this whole new experience.
So, here's to being brave, and confidently expressing MY authentic voice.
With Grace, Shonda