On the eve of my 46th birthday, I am waking up and reflecting on how the last year has gone. It's something I do every year on my birthday, this has always been my "New Year's Day" if you will. I view my birthday as if they are chapters in the greatest story I will ever tell, the one about my life, the company I keep, and the goals I strive to accomplish.
Every year, I also pick a new word to focus on for the whole year, last year my word was Anchored, which I feel I did really well, especially with the publishing of my book, Authentically Anchored. This year, I've decided that my word will be Fellowship.
It's not that I don't like being around other people, it's that sometimes it can be emotionally exhausting for me if I do it too often. I need to recharge just like most everyone else. The flip side to that, however, is when I entered into a season of solitude, I struggled to come out of it and rebuild my community in a way that was consistent. Sure, I rebuilt, started gathering a bit more, and even joined in on fun that I wouldn't normally join in, but something is still lacking.
I decided that consistent fellowship is something I need in my life, and instead of waiting on invitations to join others to show up, I decided that I want to host a quarterly fellowship with my friends. Its something I used to do a long time ago, back before life threw me into the depths of the ocean. It was also the first thing I stopped doing when I struggled to keep my head above water. Now that I'm in a much firmer, more steady and anchored place in my life, its time to bring it back, and I know my friends have been waiting on me to do this again. They remind me, not in a mean way, but in a loving and kind way that tells me they really do miss me. I miss them too.
Lately, I've been thinking about what turning 46 feels like. Suddenly I find that I feel really old. There's pains in my body in places that there weren't before and I'm slowing way down mentally and physically. I am still putting my health above all and working towards fostering a life that looks healthier by what I eat, how I move, how I think, and how I spend my time. The stark difference from where I was at the start of 2024 and today is mind blowing to me. I was really sick in January, didn't know if I would ever come out of that, and now I feel better than I have in a very long time thanks to hard work and the help from an amazing dietician.
After a new diagnosis in February this year, I had to take matters into my own hands and while it is harder to eat and drink at parties hosted by others, I have gotten used to preparing my own food and packing a cooler so I can still be present in fellowship and not put my health at risk. Everyone has been understanding, accepting, and even helpful when it comes to me doing this which only makes it easier for me to make the decision to join in and fellowship more.
Suddenly, 46 looks like life is short, and as I age, I want to ensure that my health can carry me farther in life so I can continue to make great memories with those I love and adore.
Last week, I shared with you that doing something outside of your comfort zone is not only freeing but produces great rewards. This week, I'm sharing with you that life is short, time is fleeting, we are not promised tomorrow so today we must do all that we can to ensure that we are doing everything we hope to accomplish.
I also shared on socials all week 46 memorable moments that have been throughout my life and left a lasting impression. Of course, there are far more than 46 memorable moments in my lifetime, but these were the ones that came to mind naturally so I chose to highlight them. you'll notice that today's are about finding the good among the bad. Not all memorable moments are happy memories, some are painful, but recognizing the growth that came as a result of the pain is what shows you just how far you've climbed that mountain.
If you dread your birthday, I want to encourage you to switch it up and choose to make your birthday the time of reflection, goal setting, and renewal. It really does make 46 just a number.
With Grace, Shonda